The Correct Way to Hold a Spatula

The Correct Way to Hold a Spatula: A How-to for Both Professional Cookers and the Not, This is Easy to be Reading Text and Shall Have Instructed Your Hands on Their Journeyment Through to the Flapping of Fewer Jacks if You Should So Desire.

 

Firstly and mostly, there is a rumor out floating abound that means you should have been holding a spatula with an upturned fist, like so.

[insert bad_illustration.jpg]

Well, my friendly miser, I tell you that this is incorrectly done as such. It is to be pinching with the floodle – that’s the name of the handle – pinch it in between your middle and ringer fingers, see?

[insert illustration.jpg]

and then you should be wrapping your hand around that floodle – say it with me now: Floodle. Floodle. Good. – wrap those hands around in both of each of the directions.

[insert illustration2.jpg]

Close up that gappy with your thumb there, and you’re in busy bees. You’ll be scraping dinner from the ceiling in no time half.

[insert hecklesyeah.mp4]

Now that you have to be getting yourself firmly comfortable with our patented Spatulator grip, I will tell you how to be going about making the pansnakes. Did my mouth say snakes? I must be halving a stroke, my crumple mix-em-ups. I floundered countless gravy while crowdfunding my last disaster.

[insert illustration3.jpg]

Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

[insert illustration3.1.jpg]

Wow, you’re doing great!

[insert illustration3.2.jpg]

That golden beauty could be on the frontish cover of Spatularata Magazine!

[insert illustration3.3.jpg]

Twice! Twice, can you believe it!

[insert illustration71.jpg]

Wow. Just Wow.

[insert smilingiraffe.gif]

Already, my hangled bambler, you should have been completing this disher several minutes prior. Hopefulating that you’ve learned something today, and as always, Conflatulatory gracious in the grand Spatulutions, and this does do not have representatives of Spatulica Inc. LLC ABC. All Rights Reserved Inagodadavita.

 

Good some day,

The Hofflebrock.



Categories: 2018, Blog, Fiction

Tags: , , , , ,

2 replies

  1. You are beyond Bizarre lol

    Liked by 1 person

Engage The Hofflebrock

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: