Are you tired of fad diets that claim to help you shed lbs with things like “eating well” and “exercising”?
With this one weird trick, your worries are over!
For as little as 4 easy payments of $314,159.26, we’ll send you into the future (YES! The FUTURE) to our facilities at SUNTECH LABS where you will receive the cutting edge weightloss treatment: CLONE-AWAY!
We’ll sedate you, use our space aged alien technology to make you anew, and we’re able to have you home by dinner!*
AND THAT’S NOT ALL!
For a limited time,
FREE** RETURN TRIP
*Suntech Labs cannot guarantee which dinner
**Free Return Trip (market value $5.3 mil) for qualified individuals being sold into slavery to our alien overlords for a period of no more than 589 years (anti-aging included!)